Faith

this was a 2024 draft that I felt some type of way about putting out but well...here it is

Chat, play Tasha Cobbs’ “Overflow.”

I’m in the office, in tears, because I’ve officially run this song back—checks notes—thrice. And you know how long these songs are.

Anyway, what is it with human beings and our obsession with getting anchored? I’d be lying if I said I’m not a believer—very much a church girl.

But lately? It hasn’t felt like much. Not even praying as often.

Don’t get me wrong—most of what I wanted this year, I’ve achieved. There’s so much to be thankful for, not just materially. I’ve felt more fulfilled in my craft, my family, my relationships—including with myself (though, maybe excluding the whole religion thing).

Is being too aware a bad thing? I’ve seen how religion can be weaponized, but I’ve also seen how the oblivious in faith seem... happy. Lmao, Chat, what even is religion?

It’s important to note I’m fasting with my church friends right now. Maybe that’s why I’m wondering so much.

This song says, “You provide the fire, I’ll provide the sacrifice.” That suggests—I have to put myself in a place of lack to benefit. To give myself completely.

And here’s the thing: I’ve always been a “why” kid. I question everything. Because if God loves us sooooo much and is literally our Heavenly Father, surely I won’t ask for fish, and He’ll tell me to hand Him the net first?

Religion is so complex. And yet, at my core, it’s my foundation. So why do I so hardheadedly question it? Literally everything I have—and will have—I can trace back to prayers that were made.

Idk.

As I write this, I’ve just hit play for the fourth time. If you do listen to this song, make sure it’s the live version. There’s nothing like a chorus of people who are probably going through the same struggles—maybe even worse